Here I am, getting ready to start some homework, waiting for Phil to get home, listening to the dogs whine and pine for me to move to the couch from the recliner, watching Judge Judy, sippin' on ACV & juice, thinking of some good thoughts to share with you good people.
Listen, running, or working out in general, whilst on your period is hard work. Sorry, fellas. But it is. Your body consumes all of your energy and channels it to power a tiny organ with two antennae, wreaking havoc on your lower abdominals. We are tired, we are constantly starving, we are bloated, and we are grumpy. I was supposed to run 3 miles today. HAHAHAHAHAHAA yeah right. I only made it for 2.5. You know what I ate today? For breakfast, did I have that awesome Dannon 000 Black Cherry yogurt? Nope. I had a doughnut with my coffee. For lunch, did I have that beautiful vegetable soup (which is DELICIOUS, by the way) and honey cornbread that I took to work? Nooooope. My uterus wanted Chick-Fil-A. So I got an 8-count nugget meal, with a large fry, and a large sweet tea (which was mostly ice, but whatever.) But wait, there's more...I have a cow calendar, and the treat for the month is an 8-count nugget. So guess what I got? MY FREE TREAT, DUH. Guess who was hungry - AGAIN - at 2:00? Yep, you guessed it. My uterus. Lucky for me, I had snacks in the fridge at work, so I ate some cheese. When I got home at 4:30, my stomach was growling again. GEEZ, UTERUS, WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT?! I ate a pickle for an electrolyte boost, I doused myself in some Clarity oil because I needed to get my head on straight, and I took off for my run.
I actually crossed paths with a couple other runners because this massive heat wave is bringing us all outside! Yay! There's one lady I see frequently, and she has a white fuzzy dog (a miniature poodle, I think.) Every time I see her, I wave and smile, because I'm friendly like that, and she ALWAYS makes some weird comment from the perspective of her dog. Something like, "oh, I just like to say hi to everyone I see." Or "I just assume people who walk by me always want to pet me and play with me." Where's that eyeroll emoji when you need it? Come on, lady, can't you see I'm busy? Sure, I love dogs, but I'M BUSY. I work hard to run continuously, because it's hard to run continuously, and I don't want to stop and pet your dog. I have a schedule to keep. Sorry. (Not sorry.) But, sorry.
There are some characters in the surrounding neighborhood - engaging in what I'm sure are completely wholesome, pure, and legal activities. They just like to hang out with their friends, amirite? Don't worry, folks, I won't tell anybody you were congregating and whispering outside, glaring at me while I was struggling to walk up the massive hill you were at the top of, and you stopped talking the second I reached you, and one of you moved toward the house, and the old man in the truck watched to make sure I didn't look like I knew you were acting suspiciously. IT'S ALL GOOD, I PROMISE. Your secret is safe with me. A-okay?
Awesome, so, aunt flo is mean. I'm resetting myself with a really awesome ACV drink - tea, ACV, ginger, stevia, and Bai. Yummmmmmmmmmmmmmm. And I'll probably be having steamed broccoli and air for dinner because, you know, nuggets.
Also, one more random thought. I rented my textbooks from Chegg this time, and they sent me some free samples of stuff, which is cool, right? One of the samples is a container of those new Quaker Overnight Oats. Really cool, right? I read the directions on how to make them, and it says to eat them cold. HUH? Who eats cold oatmeal?
Okay, cool. See ya.
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