My Heavy Heart Needs Answers

I have a heavy heart today. This weekend was rough on me, and I'm falling back in to a feeling of numbness that I haven't felt in a while.  This morning, I started my day by posting a bible verse as my status:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."
I didn't quote the book, chapter, and verse, because I was really sort of just speaking it.  There is someone out there who desperately needs to hear it, and they never will because they have decided to shut me out of their life.  
Whether or not you are a follower of Christianity, I think it's safe to say that this description of love is pretty accurate for everyone.  As I thought about this throughout the day, it occurred to me that you can't claim to love someone -- either familial, spousal, or neighborly -- if you don't possess these qualities of love. 
I often think of what I've ever done to deserve the struggles I face.  Every day, I wonder what I'm being punished for.  For year after year, I have struggled financially.  During my marriage, there was one point when I held down three jobs while my husband lay on the couch, dicking around on eBay.  We ultimately lost the house, my car was repossessed (and he blamed ME for it), and he stole my tax refund right out from under me.  I never got a fair chance to rebuild my life.  
For the past year, I have worked my butt off, just trying to survive.  I still have nothing.  No car, no place of my own, no financial independence -- I don't even have a TV in my room.  All I have are my books, DVD's, clothes, and my flute.  I constantly teeter-totter on the idea of selling my flute, but I can never give myself a clear answer on which is more beneficial: keeping it or selling it.  
For over 10 years, people have told me things will get better.  My question to them is, "When?"  How long do I have to fight for my new life?  How long will it be before the "better" finds me?  Sometimes I secretly wish I were on Undercover Boss, and someone would hear my story and decide that maybe I am deserving of a break.  There are two people in this world who truly know 100% of what I have been through, and the other person would completely deny any wrong-doing to save his face.  I am so tired of living penny to penny, paycheck to paycheck, day to day, struggle to struggle.  I just need a break.  A winning lottery ticket, an anonymous philanthropist, a trusting co-signer, a Joe Dirt situation where I give someone what's in my pockets for an old car to get me  around....anything.   
So maybe some of you perceive me to be materialistic and focusing too much on worldly things. My response to all of you is that you are not in my shoes.  It's not wrong to want a few basic things in life, and I'm not greedy about it.  
I am working my ass off at CarMax, and I am on a good track to make decent money.  I am worried, though, because at any given moment, my one mode of transportation could be taken away from me without my knowing it.  I'm terrified that I will walk out of my apartment to go to work, and the car will be gone.  I'm desperate to get out from under that control.
I try to be patient, and I try to tell myself to take it one day at a time, but it's really getting more and more difficult.  It must just be my life's destiny to struggle.  Maybe one day, I'll be able to look back and find the reason why.