Strategic Trick-or-Treating

Okay, so sue me for not writing for a few months. I've been busy, and am working on a new post to give some updates. In the mean time, I found this little ditty in my Book of Awesome, and wanted to pass it along. I'm going to paraphrase for the sake of brevity, but please know that the credit for this goes to the author of the book, Neil Pasricha.

Trick-or-treating isn't a game; it's a life lesson in goal setting, planning and tactical execution. Kids who master trick-or-treating go on to become successful world leaders. The point is that chocolate is delicious and you should fill your pillowcase with as MUCH as possible. You just have to master the Four Rules of Strategic Trick-or-Treating.

1. Mo' money, mo' problems. People have you believe that the rich enjoy lavishing children with giant cakes and full cases of root beer, but that is a LIE. Their massive front yards will just slow you down; you'll be navigating through wrought-iron fences, duck-shaped hedges and koi ponds instead of ringing doorbells. You should aim for the new neighborhood with little kids and densely-packed homes.

2. Dress for success. Trick-or-treating is a race against the clock, so set yourself up for success by wearing running shoes and avoiding masks that limit your visibility.

3. Partner up. Resist the temptation to travel in a posse...the amoeba of fluorescent tape and face paint will cause problems. First, the group will travel at the speed of the slowest member. Second, when candy-hander-outers spot groups, they go into instant rationing mode. That means a smaller handful. That's not good.

4. Timing is everything. 4-6 p.m.: this is the time to hit houses at the peak of their inventory levels. 6-7 p.m.: Streets are their busiest; don't get caught up in other people's amoebas. Go grab some sustenance and rev up. 7-9 p.m.: Pick up the scraps. Some houses will be left with too much candy and will hand it out by the handfuls instead of fingerfuls. Others will feel guilty for running out, and will start handing out things from their kitchen (i.e. pudding cups or boxes of Jell-O.) Take advantage and stock up.

There's your trick-or-treating guide. May the candy force be with you.