I'm skipping dinner to write this because I've had such a bad day, and I need to get this off my chest.
I've started reading Dave Ramsey's The Total Money Makeover, because I want to be able to provide a place for Phil and me when he gets here permanently. I'm about 75% of the way through the book, and have learned a lot of invaluable information. I've started to change my view of money and how it should be handled, and I'm so inspired to make the changes that Dave calls for in his plan. I've contemplated taking up a 2nd job again, because I know that will be the quickest and easiest way to make the money I need to get rolling. I've even thought about selling my flute, and anyone who's known me for any decent length of time should know how big of a deal that is. The thing is, it's the last part of me that's left. If I give that up, I have nothing else. I'm really struggling the thought of letting that go.
I decided to try and save money where I can, so I'm cancelling my gym membership, I've cancelled Weight Watchers, and I will probably go inactive on the direct sales companies I'm a part of, just to save from paying what will keep me active. I'm ready for a radical change, and I don't really care who has what to say about it.
Today, I contacted a guy who I thought could help me get a better insurance rate on my car. I drive a 13-year-old Dodge Neon, and pay $92/month for liability only as a driver on my mom's policy. Personally, I think that's ridiculous, and I hate paying that much. My annual premium is triple the value of the car. STUPID.
The guy was very nice and very helpful, and he wanted to find me a better rate. He took my info, including my SSN, and a couple hours later, emailed me to say that I should just stay where I'm at because my credit doesn't afford me a better rate than what I'm paying. He actually said my rate was fantastic. That's probably the word that broke the camel's back for me. Fantastic? Really?
Then I got mad that my credit was the basis for the rates. What in the hell does my financial history have to do with my ability to drive a car without wrecking it to pieces? Really, I want to know. So, here I am again, being punished because my credit is in repair mode from my first marriage - I'm facing the repercussions of a lazy spouse who put me in this mess to begin with. I swear to God, he will haunt me for the rest of my life. (Clearly, I still have issues surrounding this.)
The results instantly deflated me, but oddly enough, at the same time, my inner "Billie" came out. That's my mom. There's not much of her in me, but once in a while, what is there rears its head in situations like this. It's kind of a running joke...but I digress, as usual. My inner Billie rose up and said, "Eff you, credit. I don't need you, anyway." So I'm going to keep what I have, incorporate it into my budget, and work around it. It is what it is, right? Suck it up, buttercup. Figure it out.
I will gain control of this, and I will be better off for it in the long run. I am motivated, but I hope I can keep up the momentum. I will conquer you, EVIL MONEY!!
